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How I faced my mother’s death

Grappling with the death of a loved one, dealing with the grief and loneliness that ensues – we all have to brave it at some point in our lives. Here I am sharing my journey with you, hoping it would help you in your time of need.

Death is a subject that many of us—possibly all—are afraid of. Recently, my favourite person in the whole world, and a best friend to many, left her mortal coil and moved on to a higher realm. My mum. And I had to deal with it. 

She and I shared a fascinating mother-daughter relationship, and she used to tell me she was especially lucky to have me (and very few people know this). 

So, what did her physical departure from my life teach me? Is it about retaining your strength? Is it causing you to become more engaged at work? Is it related to crying? Is it the lack of crying? Does it involve talking on the phone with others? 

Move on with your life is the most ridiculous advice that I have received so far. Well, many people told me to do this. How does one really move on? I don’t know how, and I don’t think there is anyone who can teach you this. So, instead of ‘moving on,’ I decided to practise acceptance. I came to terms with the notion that I will not be able to see, embrace, kiss or hear her.

What followed was a phase of self-doubt. What to do with myself and my time, since I am an only child and have lived with my mother literally all of my life. 

I also had to accept the departure of several people from my life who were solely there because of my mother – because she was their support system, she stood rock solid for them, she had their back. Although these people will look up to me to fill in her shoes and give them support, I won’t be able to do that. I am not my mother and I very humbly accept the fact that I might not hear from them ever again. 

Tears and emotions will continue to interrupt my routine as much as her ideas and teachings will continue to guide me. The void she has left will remain and I have no intention of filling it up with inane hobbies or idle talks with wellwishers. Instead I wish to flow in and out of this void with the courage she has instilled in me, and each time come out of it with acceptance and peace. When the entanglement dissolves, this void will become my source of love, strength and knowledge. 

As a Family Constellation facilitator, I clearly see our roles – hers and mine – in the larger scheme of life. My mother always said that her daughter was destined for greatness. Her belief in me has been the greatest accomplishment of my life.

The best shraddhanjali I can give her is to live my life in her honour. After all, I am my mother’s daughter, and in death as in life, I shall always honour her.

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The beauty of Kashmir and understanding the Victim- Perpetrator energies

Recently I visited one of the most beautiful places in India,  rather, on Earth – Kashmir. This was my fourth trip to this lovely place and feels like home with every visit. Whether it is the Himalayan ranges,  Nature in her full splendor, or the pure clean atmosphere – I just soak in the wonderful energies of this place.

This time my trip was as an observer and not as a tourist. I realized that Kashmir has tremendous healing powers but at the same time needs a lot of healing too. A lot has happened on this land. On the etheric level, several Rishis and enlightened Master’s are still showering their blessings on this land.

Everything depends on how one looks at Kashmir – from the point of view or with the energy of the victim or of the perpetrator. In the Family Constellation session, the dynamics between the victim and the perpetrator are very interesting. Each one cannot exist without the other and they keep manifesting these energies. This ultimately shows up as a great power issue with disastrous results  like mass killings and genocide.

It is very important that as a human being and, more importantly as an aware human being,  one takes responsibility for both these energies – victim and perpetrator – and makes peace with them. Today Kashmir needs healing since all these things are not being acknowledged.  At the same time, the truth is that this place is a great healing energy.

Diana Cooper ( with whom I am certified as an Angel Teacher) had mentioned in one of her sessions that Ascended Master Kuthumi’s retreat is in Kashmir. While I  was moving around different locations in Kashmir, I connected with him almost daily. My silent walks, the time spent by myself around rivers, the people I met and even the times I went shopping at the local shops – all these helped me to learn a lot about victim energies. 

Now it is time to accelerate the evolution of human consciousness and we already have immense support for this. Our first step would be to accept and acknowledge ‘what is’ – the rest is a process with healing to reach upto a level of love and compassion for all.

I have decided to conduct my first retreat in Kashmir, India, in 2023 and am looking forward to the stay, to receive healing and knowledge and learn to be with the flow as the ascension process is already under progress for all of us.

My lovely readers, I hope you have got a new perspective about victim, perpetrator and Kashmir today.

Lots of love and healing.

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Love & relationship: how can couples seek balance?

Read on to know how you can strike a balance and make peace in a troubled
relationship.

The key to establishing a good relationship, in which both partners feel comfortable and
supported, is to know how to maintain balance. If you want to live a happy and stress-free
life, you need a healthy connection. A relationship’s early stages are filled with butterflies,
roses, and quiet moments together. Partners are frequently madly in love with one another,
devoting everything they have to the connection. It doesn’t take long, though, for one spouse to become overwhelmed and burnt out. The truth is that a love relationship is more than just mushy texts, dinner dates and movie nights.

Relationships are often difficult and frightening to understand, especially when writing or advising about them. Well, a lot relies on your perspective and upbringing, both of which have multiple layers of natural ways of dealing with a romantic connection or partnership. Security, protection and someone who will provide are all qualities that women look for in a man. That’s natural, but if the partner (men) can’t manage any of the above, the dynamics alter, and the downward spiral begins with blames and complaints, and it simply keeps piling up.

As I’ve always said, love is unconditional, but relationships require a balance of give and take. To find security in a spouse, my advice is to go within yourself for the source of your insecurity. So that it can be healed, and you don’t have to force your spouse to give you since, as we all know, he has his own problems. The same may be said for providing and protecting. In an ideal world, it would be reasonable to expect these things, but as I often say, your vibration will attract a man for you, and he will not do anything to help you learn your lessons.

So, dear women, go to the source of the problem. Return to your youth and observe what happened; you’ll find the majority of your answers there.

What do men want?

Men desire, or rather require, a woman who essentially serves as a buffer between them and the rest of the world. They already have a lot of pressure to give and be at a certain level of society, so they need some breathing room. If your girlfriend isn’t doing this, it’s time to consider what happened in your childhood, as well as your connection with your mother. Every male will look for a replica of his mother, while every woman will seek out a replica of her father. Yes, you do it, whether you realise it or not. You need to stop doing this so that you can find a fit for yourself instead of settling into a comfortable expectation zone.

Learn how to start a new life afresh. Don’t keep the old because you will never be satisfied with it, because old wounds tend to recur more frequently than joyful memories. It’s all about taking notes.

Fortunately, there is a way to deal with a relationship’s conflicting expectations. For example, the way any two people fold towels will almost certainly differ, but does this mean that one of the methods is incorrect? Obviously not. Expectations with no appreciation leads to nagging, which leads to frustration. Consider the issues you and your partner have battled about. How many of these quarrels are really over something significant? Have any of them come up with a viable solution? The likelihood is that the answer is no. So why not devote your time to something that is both useful and beneficial to the strength and durability of your relationship.

Be honest with yourself and approach your life with wisdom.

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Falling in love vs rising in love

You discover the beauty of this beautiful emotion when you fall in love, but you truly understand the healing powers of this energy source when you rise in love.

We always imagine life in a linear manner. You are born, you live through your toddler years, become a teenager, then an adult and finally an old person. Your roles in life also progress accordingly. You start at being someone’s son or daughter, become a working professional, a friend, a lover, a spouse, a parent and so on. However, when it comes to love, why do we stop at falling in love?

I totally understand why. Being in love is such a beautiful experience that in spite of all the challenges that come your way, you still prefer to be in love. The thrill of the first look or touch, the excitement of dating and chemical changes in your brain – the entire package of falling in love is so exquisite you end up accepting the tears and struggles with a smile. But what happens next?

You try to make this experience a part of your daily life by getting into a live-in relationship or by getting married. The minute love becomes an ‘everyday affair’ it loses its magic touch. How are you supposed to be in awe of your morning cuppa or the daily local commute every single day, right?

Wrong! You can keep the magic alive by not stopping at ‘being in love.’ Go on to the next step – Rise in Love. Falling in love is important in order to understand how to rise in love. This is my new understanding for today’s human race who are ready to shed their baggage and have selected this time zone to come to planet Earth.

Healing from within

Rising in love is the most beautiful and most evolved form of being in love but it’s also about where you are in your life and how much inner work you have done for your individual growth. For instance, a nature lover will not deck up her house with fresh flowers. On the contrary, she will nurture the plant on which the flower blooms and take care of it so that it continues to give beautiful flowers.

Trying to possess what you love or obsessing over it or doing anything and everything to have it, shows your wounds, hurts and unresolved issues from your past. It is said when you love someone, give them so much of freedom that they don’t feel overpowered in your grip but revel in the softness of your touch. That’s when love will be akin to bliss.

When the person you love actually feels complete freedom, you are truly rising in love. Love is energy not emotion. When it becomes an emotion, it ceases to be love and merely becomes a reflection or reminder for you to start working harder on your inner self.

We, the human race, are all wounded, but we can heal. Rising in love is the process of self healing. You may not choose to fall in love, but once in love, you can certainly choose to rise in love. Do you agree with me? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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7 things you need to know about rising in love

The dictionary defines love as an intense feeling of affection that you feel for something or someone. Grammatically, the word can be used as a noun and a verb. ‘The love of a mother’ encapsulates the purest form of the emotion and the use of the word as a noun, while ‘I love ice-cream’ celebrates this emotion in action. Like other emotions, the definition of love changes from person to person. But unlike other emotions, love remains paradoxical in nature.

Let me explain this a little more. Love is a commonly used word in our everyday lives. We use it while referring to our favourite things – be it people, food, clothes, places or books and movies. We say we love something or someone without understanding the intensity of the emotion. However, when we fall in love, we gain a different perspective.

Love redefined

Quite often, we fall in love with people to learn our lessons. Love is just an illusion in such relationships. The only way to really understand the power of true love is with freedom and by letting the other person be. If you think you are in love, here are seven things you need to know about this powerful emotion:

  1. Love is not manipulation: If you find yourself manipulating the person you love, know that it is not coming from a place of love but of insecurity.
  2. You like a person because of their qualities, and you love a person in spite of their flaws. If you can accept your partner with their flaws and vice versa, you are indeed lucky to be in love with them.
  3. Relationships require give and take. You need to maintain a balance in a relationship. But love is not dependent on such parameters. That’s why maintaining relationships based on love can be difficult.
  4. Love is the biggest mirror. It helps you to see who you truly are. And it also shows who your partner truly is. Being in love brings with it huge learnings about your own past.
  5. There is no place for comparisons in love. Comparisons involve judgements.
  6. You lose the true essence of love as soon as you try to control it. Love is freedom and acceptance.
  7. Love definitely heals but only when it stands for what it is.

True love and only love is real

When you peel the layers of your own shadow self and accept yourself for what you are…

When you heal your own wounds…

When you balance yourself from within and hold yourself…

…only then the real vibration of love can attract you towards your match.

Love between two individuals is not just an attraction, be it physical, intellectual, emotional or sexual. It is a connection between two souls without any apparent reason. Rising in love is love. But that happens only when you fall in love. Falling makes you look at your wounds and heal them. Once that happens, you rise and reach the authentic vibration of love. To sum up, love is indeed a paradox – you have to fall in love to be able to rise in love.

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5 Ways to Stay Connected with Your True Self

The most crucial talent you can have is the ability to stay connected with your true self. When you know who you are, you know what you need to do, and there’s no need to seek validation from others. It helps you to avoid a lot of the frustration that comes from wasting time on the wrong things. Yes, life is intended to be full of mistakes, but staying connected with yourself allows you to focus on the great opportunities that life has to offer. You will gain confidence, understand your purpose, and begin to have a greater effect on the world only after you have a better understanding of yourself.

So how can you know how to build that level of connection with yourself? Here are the five ways that are well worth your time to read.

  1. Discover yourself 

The herd mentality is something that most people succumb to. Some people end up doing nothing but following the crowd. Make a list of things you actually enjoy; if something doesn’t thrill you, don’t do it.

  1. Get to the root cause of the problem

Problems, upsets and sadness are lower vibrations; look for the underlying reason and go toward the source, not just the event that brought you there. If you’re feeling low or helpless, go back to the initial memory and identify the source. Treat the root of the problem rather than the symptom.

  1. Love and compassion are the key players

You can’t and won’t connect with yourself unless you take the time to love yourself. We might be harsh with ourselves when we haven’t been able to accomplish something. We are not deserving of the hatred we heap on ourselves. Try to love yourself the most and be compassionate towards everything. The world will be a better place if we are kind and sensitive.

  1. Let go of your past

To go on, you must entirely let go of the past. It will simply keep you stuck, trapping you in a vicious circle. Accept, heal, and do not let the past interfere in the present. However, preserve what you’ve learned in the past and look forward to what the future brings. The past will remain a burden unless you heal from it.

  1. Don’t get influenced easily

Know that you won’t be able to genuinely connect with yourself unless you stop allowing others to influence your emotions. Don’t hand over your power to anyone. Listen to others to learn something new, but don’t be swayed from your intentions. Listen to what they have to say, don’t resist, make an informed decision for yourself, and choose something fresh from a variety of sources.

Only by evaluating yourself and being absolutely honest with yourself will you be able to see every facet of your life, connecting you to your inner soul.

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On a mission to connect with your inner self

When you connect to your inner power, everything starts aligning for you. Let me exemplify this in an interesting way. I was recently watching the movie Mission Mangal (again!) and I began drawing parallels between the evolution of the characters and the concept of connecting with one’s inner power. Your inner self is a powerhouse of energy. Most of us go through life without realising it. We look at others for inspiration and positivity, whereas it is right within us (in huge quantities) all the time. Once you connect with this inner self, you have instant access to its immense power, and everything in your life automatically starts aligning with your vision. That’s what is shown in Mission Mangal, too. Mission Mangal is my favourite movie for three reasons:

  • It talks about connecting with who you really are
  • It makes me feel proud as a Bharatiya
  • Vidya Balan!

When people ask me why something is not working out for them or why they are feeling stuck, my solution is always self work.

Aligning with the Self

This movie inspired me for something different. Mission Mangal is a lesson in history for us, both as Bhartiyas and as human beings.

All the major characters in the film are scientists who are dedicated to the idea of making a spaceship, which will be India’s research vehicle to Mars. These characters are brilliantly executed by the actors playing them. A space mission to Mars is not a joke, especially for a country like Bharat. So, obviously there are plenty of challenges on their path. But what is interesting about the way the narrative of the movie flows is that each of the scientists is also facing challenges in their personal lives.

As scientists, they have the capacity to innovate and to even think of creating something impossible. They have the power to create something out of nothing. Once they decide to dedicate themselves to this mission, everything in their personal lives starts aligning, too. Science is their passion. As they align to their passion with a single-minded purpose of reaching Mars, their entire life transforms. The Universe rushes to their support, and family, friends and the whole nation follow suit.

For instance, Neha Siddiqui, the character played by Kirti Kulhari, is beset with issues. Her husband leaves her for another woman, she has been asked to move out of her dorm due to her religion, and her work is a limbo as the status of the mission is not confirmed by higher authorities. She is seen in a victim mode. But with the help of colleague Ananth Iyengar (played by H G Dattatreya) she stands up against her cheating husband and finds another and a much better living arrangement. Once she is connected with her true self, and she is able to rely on her own power, she stops feeling powerless. Her victim role ends there.

Your life can be exactly like this movie. Don’t lose yourself over anything or anyone. Hold on to your inner self, your true self. Work towards your passion. I am lucky that I love my work; it is my number one passion; it is not just a way of earning money to me but a way to connect to who I am. But if you are not, find something to be passionate about. It need not only be work. It could be a hobby or social work.

When something goes wrong in my life or things don’t fall in place as they should, I ponder over what lessons have I missed learning. It is learning that makes us go through experiences. Unless you learn your lesson, the experiences will keep coming back.

We all have things we love to do, things we do because we are passionate about them. These are the things that help align our world. I am not suggesting that we ignore things that are not going our way or be stubborn about moving forward. Meet the challenges in your life with your inner power. When you are truly connected with your inner self, the rest of the world takes appropriate action to align with you.

Are you ready to channelise your inner power?

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Exchange Of Energies Over Social Media

“It takes discipline to not let social media steal your time.”

–Alexis Ohanian 

Trolls and bullies are everywhere, and they exploit the Internet to hide their identities. Is there anything else they communicate other than their hateful words? They do, in fact, transfer their energy. We are online on social media 24 hours a day, seven days a week in this age of virtual existence. Staying connected is no longer restricted to face-to-face meetings and phone discussions. It also helps to like and comment on one other’s social media posts. So, are you doing anything else? Is it possible that you’re giving and receiving vibes via your social media interactions?

In a few years, social media has become the most significant aspect of our lives since the pandemic has become a part of our existence. A lot was made available to us through social media, but a lot of it also led to depression.

Well, energies are passed on even through ideas, so have you ever considered how you overthink and become depressed after reading certain things or having an online conversation?

Yes, we are always in a state of give and take. We as humans have been through a lot during the pandemic, yet we all know deep down that we deserved it, but have we used it wisely?

Weren’t we addicted to our phones? Chatting online has become an inevitable part of our lifeline.

We all give and take, but do we offer advice to others and seek positivity as well? Social media is a wonderful way to interact with others for networking or knowledge.  Yet, it may be draining at the same time since we are engrossed in it for multiple reasons, and our bodily ability to hear, listen, and think is being exhausted. Overindulgence must be guarded against. Protection for the mind, thoughts, and ability to think. Cutting cords, shielding, using reiki symbols, and bath salts are all techniques that are highly suggested for protection.

It’s time to stop overindulging in things that exhaust you.  Stop giving power to the content you read. Don’t throw up your wisdom simply because you have time to do anything to distract yourself from your loneliness. When you are in your power, use social media carefully.

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7 Areas That Transform Over The Course Of A Lifetime

7 Areas That Transform Over The Course Of A Lifetime

Individuals, organisations, and nations alike must cope with change since it is a reality of existence. Those who can accept this reality and adapt with change will be the ones who survive. Change is inevitable, but how about describing it as transformational? Below listed are the seven areas where an individual experiences a change in the course of a lifetime.

Relationships

For almost all of us, the most important facet of our lives is our relationships. Keep an eye on what’s going on and be conscious of what’s happening. It will reflect your personal adventure ahead. Be open to change in this area and be aware of it – this will help you progress in your life. Your relationship with your lover will strengthen with each transformation.

Health

In today’s world, health is one of the most critical topics. We’ve learned a lot from the pandemic. Our thought process is greatly influenced by our mental health. Physical health serves as a mirror for our attitudes toward ourselves. We can achieve a lot of internal harmony to help us balance things out. What is your body trying to tell you? Make changes and ensure that your parameters are satisfied.

Career

Today’s youth have just one goal: to get a job, but only if they can survive. Few people are out of survival mode and are instead stressed. Is it possible for you to decide a part of your job that you like and flow with? Alternately, combine it with something you enjoy, such as a hobby, meditation, or reading.

Flow of life

Whenever a terrible event occurs in our lives, with that incident, we begin to lose a piece of ourselves. I have made this mistake. This is done by shamans as basically shamans take you on a journey and get all your parts together.

Examine your life to identify where you are stuck. Assemble your pieces and work toward being comprehensive.

Peace and harmony within

When was the last time we experienced peace and harmony? Instead of being reliant on the outside world, work on inner tranquility. Nothing outside of you will ever have an impact on you. Internal change is essential.

Spiritual side of a human being

Humans are spiritual by nature. Simply returning to yourself in its entirety is connecting yourself with your blueprint. Here, transformation entails removing all masks you’ve worn.

Breaking karmic cycles

Countless karmic cycles are currently breaking. Relationships, ideas, beliefs, and concepts are all crucial. This is a tremendous opportunity to improve one’s life. Work on everything that is preventing you from moving forward. You are about to enter a whole new universe.

Going beyond the way you live, co-creating a better life for yourself, and altering the way you live are all part of the transformation process. This can be accomplished via the use of your ideas, visualisation, words, faith, deeds, or a combination of techniques.

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Self-healing, an art of inner peace

“Environment is no one’s property to destroy; it’s everyone’s responsibility to protect.” – Mohith Agadi, author and journalist

We might hold nature accountable for the catastrophe we are facing in the world currently but evidently, nature did not create any crisis, we did. We, as humans, have damaged our mother Earth to an extent that nature is now recovering itself and asking a part of us to get healed as well. The pleasures we seek by destroying nature for our own delight call for immediate termination or else Karma has its own ways making us pay for our actions.

Likewise, I believe, there goes a similar pattern for individual healing. Our body has an incredible ability to heal itself, even if we aren’t aware of it. It is, in fact, one of the most vital body processes. Self-healing isn’t just for physical ailments and injuries. It also describes our body’s ability to heal from mental and emotional distress. However, it may require more than just a little push to get it moving. This may necessitate extreme caution in what we do and how we care for ourselves. Keep reading to know how to go about it.

Control your emotions and thoughts

We tend to pile up every good or bad episode, every second and add to our emotional baggage. Sometimes, our interpretations of certain situations make us release those emotions in the form of anger, attack others or become a victim. Stubbornness can turn quite toxic in life and will lead to no good. Instead of exploding emotions and inviting negativity, try to understand the root cause of the internal wound. You won’t be free, until you free yourself from the prison of your false thoughts.

Prioritise loving yourself

We as adults get dominated by our wounded inner child, life traumas and some with a history of unfulfilled love. Self-healing can take place out of love and not anger. Now the question is- what can we do to heal ourselves? We know that love heals, so the first step will be loving ourselves and getting deeper into the trauma we are carrying within and stop blaming ourselves. If it is an inner child issue, it can be addressed and worked on or if it’s a family matter, it can be healed, too.

Forgive and let go

Forgiveness is the most potent tool for learning to let go of our egos and make life simpler. We must learn to forgive those who have wronged us, and most importantly, we must forgive ourselves. Allow ourselves to let go and keep going forward. Forgiveness can clear the way for new happiness by opening the doors to our spirit and removing negativity.

Learn to accept

When we accept ourselves, we finally allow ourselves the freedom to pursue our goals and be who we truly are. We are hardly ourselves, we are the version of what our parents expected us to be. We are our wounds, we are our traumas, we are our pain. We are locked up in the cage of wanting to be someone we are not.

Interestingly, if we do not heal by ourselves, the universe will make us encounter the same emotions with the same or different people, once again. It’s an alarm that we should not choose to ignore. Address the vicious cycle and break the chain. I welcome you all on this path of self-discovery and realisation. Do not hesitate and be yourself.