Grappling with the death of a loved one, dealing with the grief and loneliness that ensues – we all have to brave it at some point in our lives. Here I am sharing my journey with you, hoping it would help you in your time of need.
Death is a subject that many of us—possibly all—are afraid of. Recently, my favourite person in the whole world, and a best friend to many, left her mortal coil and moved on to a higher realm. My mum. And I had to deal with it.
She and I shared a fascinating mother-daughter relationship, and she used to tell me she was especially lucky to have me (and very few people know this).
So, what did her physical departure from my life teach me? Is it about retaining your strength? Is it causing you to become more engaged at work? Is it related to crying? Is it the lack of crying? Does it involve talking on the phone with others?
Move on with your life is the most ridiculous advice that I have received so far. Well, many people told me to do this. How does one really move on? I don’t know how, and I don’t think there is anyone who can teach you this. So, instead of ‘moving on,’ I decided to practise acceptance. I came to terms with the notion that I will not be able to see, embrace, kiss or hear her.
What followed was a phase of self-doubt. What to do with myself and my time, since I am an only child and have lived with my mother literally all of my life.
I also had to accept the departure of several people from my life who were solely there because of my mother – because she was their support system, she stood rock solid for them, she had their back. Although these people will look up to me to fill in her shoes and give them support, I won’t be able to do that. I am not my mother and I very humbly accept the fact that I might not hear from them ever again.
Tears and emotions will continue to interrupt my routine as much as her ideas and teachings will continue to guide me. The void she has left will remain and I have no intention of filling it up with inane hobbies or idle talks with wellwishers. Instead I wish to flow in and out of this void with the courage she has instilled in me, and each time come out of it with acceptance and peace. When the entanglement dissolves, this void will become my source of love, strength and knowledge.
As a Family Constellation facilitator, I clearly see our roles – hers and mine – in the larger scheme of life. My mother always said that her daughter was destined for greatness. Her belief in me has been the greatest accomplishment of my life.
The best shraddhanjali I can give her is to live my life in her honour. After all, I am my mother’s daughter, and in death as in life, I shall always honour her.
This is a spell bound blog. Thanks for inspiring us as always…May the love,power and strength be showered upon you to be our guiding light.
Such frank and touching lines penned Laii. Shhamalji continues to guide us all. She’s right behind our backs, showering us with healing energies. More strength to you Dear😍💖 Lots of Love 💚
Amazing speechless
Dear Lai, I always see you as very matured and composed person and your write up confirms the same…. We are ready with big theories but while facing difficult situations if application of theory is done then only we can call it inner success and I am sure you have done it successfully. Very proud of you Rani! God bless you dear…
Laii this one souls departure has created void not only in yours but for many including me. Though our relationship grew close in just last few years but she gave me so much unconditional love and immense life lessons. Being such a great celebrity Healer she was so down to worth, so easily approachable, I had midnight chats with her as if I am doing with someone who is a colleague of same age. The love of food and love of feeding , love of giving love of nurturing she was a giver in a true essence.
The day I came home the next day of her going to the other realm, I could feel her magnanimous presence in her room. I feel she leaving her physical body somewhere she has become more close to us as she is present around us all the time.
I really cherish the last few years of her proximity in my life will surely miss feeding her theplas and eating sabudana khichdi made by her.
Loads of love to you Laii
Sis always remember this bro is always beside you.
Sending you love! All I can do right now.
Beautiful….Honest…Knowledgeable…..Awareness…Acceptance….
Gratitude.. …Powerful…. Shradhanjali….Laiji.
Lai…. loads of blessings and love… dear…❤️
Hi
When I heard about Ma’am’ passing away, I was ….. don know the words to express…. I have met her only once (blessed to have had that oppurtunitu). She had this huge impact on a person. I thought of you….and sent u energy….. Ma’am has taught us that we are all inter connected and we can feel each others emotions and that we can heal each other…… How ever you feel now…. the emptiness, the abyss…..the answers are already within us….. Your words reflect your inner strength , your love and admiration for your Mother. And she was so very proud of You.
We are always with u, as you are always there with us.
God Bless you dear !
Truly said,usually after “any” loss, the advice given by people around is Move On. But ,it is actually acceptance of many realities around ones life,speciallyafter loss of one’s most closest and dearest one.The void takes a long time to get filled,though with time ,many things which make you Wonder-become a source of strength and wisdom.
The true Shradhanjali to Didi will be ,to live in her honor,with many more acceptances in the journey and perform the role for which you have been chosen.Sending my love to you.Miss didi,But her strength and love will always guide me.
Very well accepted & followed
Laii
How beautifully have you narrated your acceptance of the reality. It is definitely not easy to be the daughter of such an extraordinary mother.. But you are no less extraordinary. After all, you are your mother’s daughter! ❤️ Love and well wishes to you as you walk this path that you’ve envisioned for yourself.
Wonderfully penned… Inspiring… Example of living with knowledge😊
Dear Lai….with you always…yes bonded to you through Shamal ma and will continue. The lovely moments spent with you all are always with me…love you dear. See you soon. Tc ❤️
Very well expressed .
Your sharing shows your maturity and that u are being with knowledge and practicing it in this crutial time
Great and mature write up Lai
Proud of you
Thank you dear Lai for beautifully expressing your love and pain too 🙏
You are an inspiration 💜💐
Such a beautiful, honest and befitting Shraddhanjali !
Love n hugs
Death leaves heartache no one can heal…
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.
We all learnt that real meaning of love from shamal ji.. n we experienced her unconditional love which is so pure n serene.
It’s too hard to accept her death.. but she is always be in our memories..
Expressing my deepest gratitude to this one and only lovable soul… our dear shamal ji🙏
Love n light 🕯️
We all love u lai ❤️
This write up made me cry.. u r strong matured inspiring. Lots of love n hugs 💞
Heart touching writing….yet deeply profound
Laii you have truthfully brought out how with knowledge you can accept the most difficult pain in ur life. God bless you with more n more power n courage and you r able to spread the work of knowledge to many …
Dearest Layu,
I always told Shamal how amazing it has been to see you blossom ! And yes, she said you were her best gift and was / is always so proud of you !
You have put into words so well that is inexpressible !
Very true , totally agree we cannot move on , or get over it just like that ! Speaking from my experience .. we need to go into that huge void and all the emotions it brings .. in fact we cannot but go there and out until we graduel come to peace with the situation and you are really amazing how you have handled her life , her illness and her passing on in the body . She is your guardian Angel now guiding you from another realm .. to become your own person even more !
Lots of love and blessings 🙌🙌🙌🙌
Wow! Layu, awesome and touching blog on ur mom n u.I have been watching you grow and emerge as a wonderful loving magnanimous person like ur Mom .
Be as you are.
Love nLight n Reiki to u my dear
Laii LaiiLaii,
You showed again how complete is her completion, you were supposed to be hit the most, but see she yourself how complete you are in her physical absence.
Shhamal maasi, showed and taught “I complete,” wherever we are.
Acceptance is the key… thank you for sharing ur journey with great strength and wisdom…ur words r giving power… love… and light… lots and lots of love to you Laii❤️