The ties of friendship go much deeper than blood relations. What makes us gravitate toward complete strangers and forge the best relationships of our lives with them? Read on to find out.
Friendship is a topic that’s very close to my heart. To me, maximum learning about life has come from this relationship.
What I have understood as friendship is simply a beautiful neutral relationship, which you choose for yourself. You are either born with other relationships (mother and father) or get tied up in them due to family (uncles and aunts) or are geographical in nature (neighbours). But friendship is something you start purely with the intention of establishing a connect with a particular person. It is the first relationship you make outside your social circle. I see it as an anchor that you need when you enter this world full of fixed relationships and unsaid promises.
Friendship amongst equals
Two people can be on the same or different frequencies, and yet friendship can still exist between them and even last a lifetime. But it will crumble if they are not in sync with each other.
I have seen and observed people relying on friendship more than parents, siblings and life partners. What makes this bond so important for people? Well, this is what I mean by being in sync. When two people do anything that it takes to stand and be there for one another, it is true friendship, irrespective of different frequencies and interests.
I personally have struggled with this synchronisation for my entire life. I somehow till today don’t have a friend whom I can call my best friend. Neither am I sure about anyone with whom I can speak my mind and get unconditional acceptance. That’s one area of my life that still requires work. My programming of friendship has been doing whatever it takes for your friend, but time has made me realise that it is just a one way street. I never had equal friendship.
Age, gender, income and family background don’t matter in friendship because in it you are equals. It is a beautiful experience of give and take. When you over-give, your receiving is at stake and this has been my learning. Now looking at my own case, I have always been close to older people or those elder to me. I accept that I have solid healthy boundaries with the majority of people in my life or maybe everyone with learnings related to my old programming of over-giving to friends.
Unfriending people in real life
I have had friends who didn’t bother listening to me and kept on talking. It is important to give space but it is equally important to accept and learn when you drain your energy with such people, whom you have termed as friends. They teach you about toxicity rather than friendship.
When having friends creates a situation of social survival for you, it should ring out like an alarm. It’s time for self-work. Nothing is more important than you, certainly not your so-called friends.
With Inner Child sessions I learnt to be best friends with myself. Today, I have good friends in my life with whom I can share my thoughts and feelings. When I feel as participants in a friendship, we are not equals, or the give and take is askew, I withdraw. There is no point in dragging meaningless relations in the name of friendship. Learn to choose a friend who believes in the dynamics of give and take or equality. The friends you make shows where you are in your life spiritually.
A welcome honest assessment of Friendship- its one relationship that is hyped – to fit in to the social norms and for feeling of acceptance! Thank You for pointing out that it is a two way street and to be in sync is what truly matters. And that loving oneself and acceptance of once self takes priority over all other relations. Your Best Friend is, well You!!!
Very well written. Friendships very very important part of my life. Blessed with Lots of support -received and taken. Can see askew in couple of friendship… Will observe